Well summer is finally here and to be honest it's a hard one so far for me. I am one of those people who resist change. I prefer my comfort zone and no not often attempt to stray from it. I am an off brand of person, who would much rather spend time at home with family or one person than go out with many. Unlike most people my age I dread parties mostly because they require being away from home for long amounts of time as well as, usually, late into the evening. Change, and parties, make me squirm.
Recently I've gone through a lot of change. I'm an adult and am allowed to make my own decisions. I just moved an hour and a half away from where I grew up to live with Dad and Kathy who I have never spent more than two weeks at a time with. My boyfriend just started a new job where we won't be able to talk from 3 pm to 10 pm everyday. I am starting college in the fall. And although none of these are bad changes. Most of them are absolutely wonderful and what I want.
They are all still very hard for me.
The hardest two being college and William's new job. Currently I make myself busy with sewing while William is away at work, stay up to skype for a while at night, and fall asleep on the phone together around 11. We then get up at different times, talk/skype for a while, then he's off to work and the process repeats. So far it's been kinda hard for me. When I'm busy and have things to do it's not so bad but really its summer and I have more free time than I know what to do with. I basically sew my troubles away.
However, when it will get a lot harder when I start classes in the fall.
If I take morning classes it is likely that we won't have much time to talk. It might come down to weekends, late nights, and a lot of crying on my part. Until circumstances change, William has to take this later shift. I think most of my classes might be in the morning or early afternoon. While I love William so very much, I worry about this lack of communication. He promises we will work through it and circumstances will change and then it will be easier. But until then I'm worried. I'm worried and we're not even at that point yet. All I can think is we're already long distance, only see one another once a month for a few days, and now we won't be able to talk much. He's my best friend and it's going to be very hard to be apart from him so often, in every way.
Maybe I'm just over worried or stressing too much... I just hope to find strength and get a little used to alone time for a while. I know that these steps lead to better things. Better circumstances. Moves from Las Vegas to California. I know that is what these times bring, it's just until then that will be hard.
I hope I don't come off as unappreciative of the man I have, because that is truly not my intentions. I've been told before that just because I miss him or I worry about things that it means I don't appreciate him. I don't think that's true... I know we can make it through this... he promises every night that we can.
But I'm allowed to be anxious about the whole thing, right?
Love and Turtledoves,