This move is starting a brew in my mind that I dread. Ever since I was young change has brought back my depression that brings me low low low. I can feel it coming back. Leaving work has left me not caring so much, which is pretty bad too. But when I'm alone I can feel that slow creep of loneliness that hasn't been around in a while.
It's mostly at night when I'm waiting to get William from work. It creeps up my heart until I feel anchored to the spot. It doesn't leave until I wake up tomorrow morning, sometimes not even then.
I can't wait to move and be settled, then it'll leave.
Friday, March 1, 2013
This month is a stressful one. We are taking on the difficult task of moving from cheap but not so great Nevada to expensive but heart warming California. We are determined to move April 30 and I swear I'm going to be heartbroken if it doesn't happen. I miss the way I feel when I'm home and around my family all the time. I want William to know that love. There is nothing I want more than for my little family with William and our cats to become a big family with my parents and siblings.
I want to go to school to learn how to be an amazing artist. I want to know about different kinds of art, different artists, and different techniques. I want to meet other artists and grow from them. I have creative friends that I adore but I want someone who gets the need to create for a living.
Truthfully I miss my friends so much. I miss my family. I miss California and how comfortable it feels there.