When I was younger, the last thing I could ever would have wanted is to get married and have children. I used to think I'd end up a novel writer somewhere in Maine (I was obsessed with Stephen King), probably alone. I thought this way for a long, long time. I told myself I'd never want children, never want a family of my own...
Around the time I turned sixteen, things started to change. I had really begun to grow towards adulthood and started to feel differently about marriage and children. I began to day dream of a sweet little craftsmen style home. Vintage kitchen ware in a bright kitchen. Family dinners every night at the dinner table. Decorating rooms for myself, my spouse, and children.
Somewhere between childhood and adulthood I grew the need for a family of my own.
Two years later I find the longing even stronger. I see other families and am a little envious, deep inside of my heart. I want little girls who dress like princesses, boys who roll in the dirt and play war, I want a husband who takes us to the park and holds my hand while I read. Now that I'm an adult I see it as more of a possibility, but I know it's not an option right now.
I know someday I'll have it. I know someday I'll have kids running around the house, a sweet little home I take care of everyday. That I've put together myself, every little thing perfect. William and I have talked about getting married in a few years, should everything go the way we want. We truly are committed to one another and he wants the same things out of life that I do. We want to take care of one another, start a family eventually, and go from there. I have to admit, I believe he's the love of my life.
I know deep in my heart that all I need to be happy is my own family. My own home to take care of. To come home to my love. I know someday I'll be the happiest little lady alive, until then I'll continue to dream of curl haired olive babies, pirex dishes, green backyards, and family dinners.
Love and Turtledoves,