When I was younger, the last thing I could ever would have wanted is to get married and have children. I used to think I'd end up a novel writer somewhere in Maine (I was obsessed with Stephen King), probably alone. I thought this way for a long, long time. I told myself I'd never want children, never want a family of my own...
Around the time I turned sixteen, things started to change. I had really begun to grow towards adulthood and started to feel differently about marriage and children. I began to day dream of a sweet little craftsmen style home. Vintage kitchen ware in a bright kitchen. Family dinners every night at the dinner table. Decorating rooms for myself, my spouse, and children.
Somewhere between childhood and adulthood I grew the need for a family of my own.
Two years later I find the longing even stronger. I see other families and am a little envious, deep inside of my heart. I want little girls who dress like princesses, boys who roll in the dirt and play war, I want a husband who takes us to the park and holds my hand while I read. Now that I'm an adult I see it as more of a possibility, but I know it's not an option right now.
I know someday I'll have it. I know someday I'll have kids running around the house, a sweet little home I take care of everyday. That I've put together myself, every little thing perfect. William and I have talked about getting married in a few years, should everything go the way we want. We truly are committed to one another and he wants the same things out of life that I do. We want to take care of one another, start a family eventually, and go from there. I have to admit, I believe he's the love of my life.
I know deep in my heart that all I need to be happy is my own family. My own home to take care of. To come home to my love. I know someday I'll be the happiest little lady alive, until then I'll continue to dream of curl haired olive babies, pirex dishes, green backyards, and family dinners.
Love and Turtledoves,
Jacqueline
